Thursday 22 April 2010

tidak sehitam putih itu.

meskipun aku menapaki sisi pembela yang hitam
apakah berarti aku harus disebut hitam?
bukankah kau tak tahu untuk apa aku dikutuk dosa membela yang hitam?

untuk putih...

Sunday 11 April 2010

Coffeholic

Coffee!!
Waiter, I want coffee!
I always need coffee
No sugar, black-thick coffee!
Five times a day, oh sure I’m gonna die.
But how?? I desperately need coffee!!


Back to time lasted long time ago
With mama, sweet-tasted-thick-black-coffee
From eight years old little kid, to cute girl of seventeen
From cappuccino to espresso
We shared together every morning, afternoon, evening, …
Errr, was it only three times a day?
And there was many worth remembering conversations
From laughter to slaughter
First menstruum to first baby
Never ever will be able to be buried

But she’s gone
Mama’s gone with that sweet-tasted-thick-black-coffee and all the evening warmth

Now I only know black coffee
Been ten years only drink black coffee
No sugar, black-thick coffee, the sweet’s been gone with mama, isn’t it?
And I’m dying, this chemo soon killing me
Good I’m gonna meet mama
But I still need coffee

Last drop of sweet-tasted-thick-black-coffee…

Loser

I’m sorry that you’re always been forgotten
‘Cause when we’re in mile 67 you’re still stuck in 10
Can’t you read our face tired encouraging you just like forever?
‘Now we’re in mile 107 and you’re moving backwards to minus one.

And honey, don’t you learning that this world is keep on spinning?
That luck counts more than 90% but bravery brings 200%?
Are you trying to look humble? You think nice people will attract us, huh?
But see, you are such a stumble! What so cute about that pity look, huh?
If you’re too slow, we’ll get your head blew. So why can’t you learn, to shut that shit off and just do what you ought to do, honeeey?!

I’m sorry if God made brains different on peoples.
And talent is something that never been fair to anyone!
But chin up, if you’re qualified enough, you are welcome to the gang!
But if you make brainsick, weaknesses is unaccepted: we’ll say “Go away, you negative ash!!”

LOSER!!!

Lucky Eli

My friend Eli, she is so lucky
She’s dying to the bone
Waiting gravediggers bury her living corpse to the eternity
But someone loves her, loves her to the eternal grave

One day Eli,
She fell down again.
Unconsciously that fragile body shook terribly.
I called her lover, like terrorist he insisted me to carry her to any clinic.
“She’s my future” he said.
“Please” he pleaded.
And I did so.
I always do so.

Lucky Eli!
Oh how I envy you.
Oh how I would replace you in your grave.
Collecting sympathy of being weak, so anyone may love me, protect me, be responsible for me.

Lucky Eli,
Do you want to replace me?
Take my body, take my money, take my beauty?
And I would take all that sorrow inside you, wear it above my starvation for some piece of concern, oh just a bit of concern for me.

Eli,
I should let you know how it feels to always be a shielder.
And you may let me know how it feels of always been shielded.
Even it’s from inside your grave…