was it a question longing for answer? or just a random thought?

di mana?

(ditulis di dalam gereja pada saat ekaristi kudus)

di mana Tuhan?

di rumahmu?
tak ketemu.
sepertinya pastor di depan tak berniat memperkenalkanku padamu.

di mana Tuhan?
di doa?
kadang saja ketemu.
tapi pada siapa aku berdoa?
pada otakku?
atau itu kamu?

di mana tuhan?
di dalam lagu.
di tengah alam.
di antara manusia.
di situkah, tuhanku?
atau aku salah merasa?
rasanya ada.

tapi apa?
di mana?

they are where my poems meet melody, where my voice finds its instruments.

and he the undiscovered one is whom god crated to fit my personality.

luka di gempita, berdansa di gulita

Wahai dunia yang indah gempita
Apakah kau luka?
Sesak di relungmu, ibu pertiwi.
Menangis dalam syahdu.

Anak-anakku cendekia bangsa
Janganlah kau lupakan
Sebuah candu tuk kejar mimpimu
Butakan matamu sampirkan manusia

Aku tahu berharga emas permata itu
Namun kumohonkan pinta padamu lihat aku menelan pahitnya perih

Reff:
Kita berdansa di dalam gulita.
Kita merana berlumur asa.
Takkankah ada yang melihat kita?
Tertutup bayang cahaya suka

Wahai dewi yang buta matamu,
Sudahkah pedangmu aus?
Timbangkan dosa bubuhkan obat bagi luka.

Reff:
Kita berdansa di dalam gulita.
Kita merana berlumur asa.
Takkankah ada yang melihat kita?
Tertutup bayang cahaya suka

Aku tahu berharga emas permata itu
Namun kumohonkan pinta padamu lihat aku menelan pahitnya perih

tidak sehitam putih itu.

meskipun aku menapaki sisi pembela yang hitam
apakah berarti aku harus disebut hitam?
bukankah kau tak tahu untuk apa aku dikutuk dosa membela yang hitam?

untuk putih...

Coffeholic

Coffee!!
Waiter, I want coffee!
I always need coffee
No sugar, black-thick coffee!
Five times a day, oh sure I’m gonna die.
But how?? I desperately need coffee!!

…
Back to time lasted long time ago
With mama, sweet-tasted-thick-black-coffee
From eight years old little kid, to cute girl of seventeen
From cappuccino to espresso
We shared together every morning, afternoon, evening, …
Errr, was it only three times a day?
And there was many worth remembering conversations
From laughter to slaughter
First menstruum to first baby
Never ever will be able to be buried

But she’s gone
Mama’s gone with that sweet-tasted-thick-black-coffee and all the evening warmth

Now I only know black coffee
Been ten years only drink black coffee
No sugar, black-thick coffee, the sweet’s been gone with mama, isn’t it?
And I’m dying, this chemo soon killing me
Good I’m gonna meet mama
But I still need coffee

Last drop of sweet-tasted-thick-black-coffee…

Loser

I’m sorry that you’re always been forgotten
‘Cause when we’re in mile 67 you’re still stuck in 10
Can’t you read our face tired encouraging you just like forever?
‘Now we’re in mile 107 and you’re moving backwards to minus one.

And honey, don’t you learning that this world is keep on spinning?
That luck counts more than 90% but bravery brings 200%?
Are you trying to look humble? You think nice people will attract us, huh?
But see, you are such a stumble! What so cute about that pity look, huh?
If you’re too slow, we’ll get your head blew. So why can’t you learn, to shut that shit off and just do what you ought to do, honeeey?!

I’m sorry if God made brains different on peoples.
And talent is something that never been fair to anyone!
But chin up, if you’re qualified enough, you are welcome to the gang!
But if you make brainsick, weaknesses is unaccepted: we’ll say “Go away, you negative ash!!”

LOSER!!!